I can't help but rejoice today.
My friends Josh and Nicole had a little baby boy this morning. It all happened so fast, I didn't have time to post.
The Lord blessed them with little
8 lbs. 4 ounces.
20 inches long
Born March 12, 2009 8:53am
He is perfect, just as the Lord made him. It was a beautiful experience to watch two wonderful people bring another child into their family. To love, nurture and raise as a warrior for the Lord. My heart leapt for Nicole as she held and nursed her baby for the first time. What a miracle and privilege to witness his birth.
Today is also the two year anniversary of the day I lost my first baby. Two years ago I was holding on to a hope and saying goodbye to the idea of a child. Sometimes I feel that I need to put it out of my mind and "move on". "Rachel, you have a child, afterall!"
But somehow, the memories of that child linger, and so I let them. I woke up anxious for my friends and also grieving within. It is like a small ghost feeling that haunts me. It aches. I can't will it away.
And then….after Elisha was born, Nicole was holding him and just looked at me and says, "God has perfect timing." She didn't know that today was the anniversary, and I knew it was the Lord speaking through her.
And it clicked for me.
He does have perfect timing.
He knows what is best.
He has a SOVEREIGN plan.
One that includes blessings and sorrows and things we don't understand.
And so, although I miss my first born, I rejoice today for the plan God has chosen for my life.
I can't help but be filled with joy for my friends Josh and Nicole and their growing family.
And be filled with joy that I don't chose my steps–God does.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11