God’s timing….

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I can't help but rejoice today.
My friends Josh and Nicole had a little baby boy this morning.  It all happened so fast, I didn't have time to post.  
The Lord blessed them with little 
ELISHA LOUIS
8 lbs. 4 ounces.
20 inches long
Born March 12, 2009 8:53am
He is perfect, just as the Lord made him.  It was a beautiful experience to watch two wonderful people bring another child into their family.  To love, nurture and raise as a warrior for the Lord. My heart leapt for Nicole as she held and nursed her baby for the first time. What a miracle and privilege to witness his birth.
Today is also the two year anniversary of the day I lost my first baby.  Two years ago I was holding on to a hope and saying goodbye to the idea of a child.  Sometimes I feel that I need to put it out of my mind and "move on".  "Rachel, you have a child, afterall!"  
But somehow, the memories of that child linger, and so I let them.  I woke up anxious for my friends and also grieving within.  It is like a small ghost feeling that haunts me.  It aches.  I can't will it away.  
And then….after Elisha was born, Nicole was holding him and just looked at me and says, "God has perfect timing." She didn't know that today was the anniversary, and I knew it was the Lord speaking through her. 
And it clicked for me.
He does have perfect timing.  
He knows what is best.
He has a SOVEREIGN plan.  
One that includes blessings and sorrows and things we don't understand.
And so, although I miss my first born, I rejoice today for the plan God has chosen for my life.
I can't help but be filled with joy for my friends Josh and Nicole and their growing family.
And be filled with joy that I don't chose my steps–God does.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 
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14 Comments

Filed under babies!, birth, Elisha Louis, Jeremiah 29:11, miscarriage

14 responses to “God’s timing….

  1. Rachel-
    I’m sorry for your loss. God knows whats in your heart; your pain and your joys…he knows you needed to hear that Elisha’s birth was “perfect timing”…God is great and LOVES you so much!
    Side note…are they going to call him Eli?

  2. Kat

    What a joy that this little man is finally here! What a testimony to your character that you can celebrate your friends joy while feeling your own pain. I am so sorry that it still hurts. I can’t imagine that the sting of loosing a child ever “goes away”, and shame on anyone who tells you it should. You are doing the right thing by trusting in God, even when it hurts.

  3. heidistitches

    The one thing I have learned is to live in the moment. 1994 is when we lost my brother, my dad, and Aunt Wanda (all while I was a newlywed). I have learned to rejoice in their memories, not in their passings, because I know I will see them again. And so it goes with all those we have loved and lost.

  4. Rachel: I am sorry for your grief, I have miscarried and know that whisp of a memory that floats into your mind at the most unexpected of times. I am so glad that you could be there for the joy that this new little one brought into the world. You never do forget the little one that you lost, ours would be a senior in high school.

  5. I don’t think it’s necessary to force yourself to “get over it, ” even if you could. Life begins early, and so does bonding so I think it’s only natural that that kind of loss would end with heartache and grief. And it sounds like you’re even that much more appreciative of the child you do have now.
    I’m happy that you can take peace in knowing that God has perfect timing, even when it’s difficult to fully understand it. I know that you are an incredible mother, it’s easy to see, even from a semi-stranger, and it’s’ possible that God was choosing the perfect child for you and your husband. Just remember, “All things work for the good in the name of the Lord.” This is something that I’ve been comforted by lately.
    I wish you many happy thoughts and memories and hope that the pain of loss is eased. You will be in my prayers.

  6. This is so moving. I got the chills just reading it. I like that, “God has perfect timing”. That really resonates with me, under different circumstances. Thank you for your post, and I am very sorry for your loss.
    Thanks for the link to your blog.
    Candi

  7. GRANDMA

    IT WAS 30 YEARS AGO IN 1979 WHEN OUR BABY WENT TO BE WITH THE LORD… THE TUGS OF SADNESS WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF MY HEART AS WILL BE THE CONSTANT JOY FROM YOU BEING BORN ONE YEAR LATER…..OX

  8. Thank you for sharing what was certainly such a personal and emotional day for you all.

  9. eva

    Rachel, your strenght and your selfless love are endless. instead of growing bitter in your sorrow you chose the harder path of deliberate thankfulness and joy. i am thinking about your parents, how they succeeded in raising a person such as yourself, and of everyone you know with whom you share your light.
    dear Elisha Louis, welcome to this world. what a happy day! i wish for you that you recognize the bright and warm light that your parents are keeping in their hearts and welcome it in your heart as well. and in time, pass it on to your children.

  10. Thank you for this beautiful post. I am grateful for your testimony that reminds me of truths I sometimes forget! I know you will always remember your baby, and I’m glad you’ve been able to find some peace in this.

  11. Thanks for the reminder. It’s so easy to forget and pull back on trust.

  12. A truly lovely post Rachel.

  13. DEAR SWEET RACHEL,
    GOD WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO FORGET HOPE….BUT…HE DOES WANT YOU TO TRUST HIM….AND THAT YOU DO…NO MATTER HOW HARD SOMETIMES.
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU ARE BITTER AND YOU ARE OVER JOYED FOR ELIJAH…..EACH YEAR HE HAS A BIRTHDAY YOU CAN DO SOMETHING SPECIAL IN HOPE’S HONOR. HE WILL ALWAYS BE SPECIAL TO YOU ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF THE DAY HE WAS BORN.
    IT IS NORMAL TO BE SAD….IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL POST….PRAY ABOUT IF GOD WOULD HAVE YOU WRITE YOUR STORY AND WHAT A INSPIRATION IT WILL BE TO THOSE WHO HAVE SHUT GOD OUT OF THEIR LIFE………..
    I AM PRAYING FOR YOU RACHEL….YOU ARE VERY SPECIAL TO ME BUT ESPECIALLY TO GOD……
    BY THE WAY….THE SONG…IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL……IS MY VERY FAVORITE SONG.
    HUGS
    LOVE
    debbie

  14. That was a very honest and sweet post. I have never lost a baby, so I can only imagine the pain you went/are going through, even with another child in your arms. My little sister has had struggles, including losses and failed in-vitros, so I know the emotional toll it takes on her. I’m not sure there is ever a time that you will completely ‘move on’…. I’m so sorry for your loss.

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