I learned this morning at church. Don't you love it when you hear a message that deals with something you are DIRECTLY experiencing?
The topic was faith.
While lots of us can say that we have "faith", I sometimes wonder how strong my faith is. My faith, in the past, has been so dependent on situations. It's sad and hard to admit, but I realized this about myself about 6 months ago. I began dealing with some personal choices and decisions and realized that I quickly became frightened and frustrated. I went to the "worst case scenario" in my mind and found myself feeling scared, nervous and out of solutions.
I had quickly lost faith. Faith in all the things that I know the Lord promises to me. Oh, how often i forget and take for granted the promises He has provided for me. These are written in scripture and yet, I look for answers, comfort and assurance in "how-to" books, advice from others and internet. I lose faith and recite to myself, "I know God talks about his provision……" and then read a book to calm myself down. Make myself feel better. Feed my need for "understanding" and "knowledge".
When all I need is faith.
In the past 6 months I have had to learn that I don't "know" what will happen. I am not sure how things will end up. I am in a season of DELAY. There are no answers and there is no problem I can solve and figure out. And while this would have been the END of me and my patience even a year ago, I have felt a sense of extreme peace, which almost seems counter-intuitive.
I am having faith during delay. Not fake faith (which I have had in the past), where I tell myself and others, "I'm not worried…God's in control".(and then stress all day long over the issue).
But a real faith.
A peaceful faith.
A faith where I can be ok saying,
I still have no idea what is going to happen. I don't know how the chips will fall. I don't really know what to do.
But–I have a peaceful faith. (you know that old song from Sunday school.."I got peace like a river…..") And it is a good feeling. A letting go and a burden lifted. I am able to release my worries and concerns for a situation because i have a new faith–a faith that the Lord knows the outcome and that is ok with my head, heart and soul.
"Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience." James 1: 3
"For we walk by faith, not by sight."
2 Corinthians 5: 7(NKJV)
2 Corinthians 5: 7(NKJV)