While my brain has "known" that I am resigning from my job for quite some time….I think that my heart is just now catching on.
Yes, I am excited to embark on a new time in my life and the life of our family.
Yes, I am absolutely thrilled to have more time and energy to spend on Kensington and Sean and cultivating important traditions, moments and memories with them.
Yes, I know this is the right choice for our family–one that was prayed and thought about and not taken lightly.
Yes, I look forward to not having to go into work and not having my mind pre-occupied like it has been.
I am also honest when I say that I am very sad.
Yes, I will miss my job immensely.
Yes, losing something this close to my heart is very difficult, if I am honest.
Yes, I have admitted to myself that I feel I am giving up one of the most important things in my life.
Yes, it was the most difficult choices I (we) have ever made.
The choice to step down and become a stay at home mom is one of the most difficult choices I have ever made. My heart hurts as I leave my position at ShoreLife and will no longer be connected in that way, to the kids there.
I know that it is the choice that God has for us.
I am so very peaceful (albeit a little sad to leave a job i love) about this choice. I look forward to this time in my life more than I have ever looked forward to another season.
My days can be filled with Kensington and I going outside and playing in the garden. Splashing water from the hose. Walking in the park. Reading a book for however long we want. Making a fun craft together. Cooking dinner for my family. Sitting on the floor and doing nothing but playing together…..
So, each time I think about the wonderful gift of time I am being given, my sadness fades just a little bit, and gratefulness replaces it. I am so happy that I have this time…..
This time, right now, is a blessing.
A new chapter.